


Silhouettes In Neon Lights

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Boys In Love, EDDIE IS IN DENIAL OF HIS FEELINGS, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Prom, dumb boys, ew gross, mentions of sonia kaspbrak, mistletoe kiss, this might as well be a 5 plus 1 thing if we are honest, uhhh, we dont stan her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 08:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17700959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: Eddie believes it was just a moment. A moment where clarity slipped from his reality, where he thought he could be love and be loved like the movies. Where he falls in love with his best friend and his best friend reciprocates those feelings, and of course, they live happily ever after. That clarity had vanished and he acted on instinct, acted with his heart, and knew, even with a tiny part of his brain, that he was really, in fact, in love with his best friend.





	Silhouettes In Neon Lights

**Author's Note:**

> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/1242147397/playlist/71QbOFIK9ukpNyJdTf2svZ?si=xmukkuSbTzO4KS7WxengVA) GO LISTEN TO MY PLAYLIST FOR THIS MONSTER 
> 
> WOW I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD. i havent written in a long time. well, from what you guys know of ;) I've been working on a lot of projects and they will all be revealed within time!
> 
> in the meantime, SPECIAL THANKS to Ari and Logan for letting me bounce my ideas of them while I forced myself to write this in 4 hours time.
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEING PATIENT AND ENJOY!

**PRESENT, SENIOR YEAR**

 

There’s a little bit of running around and avoidance in Eddie’s life currently. He’s never had to run and hide and avoid, not even with his mother, who he’d tell straight up to fuck off. No, it’s in his friend group, the only people who he can call family. And it’s all his fault and he knows it but clearly chooses to ignore it. 

Eddie believes it was just a moment. A moment where clarity slipped from his reality, where he thought he could be love and be loved like the movies. Where he falls in love with his best friend and his best friend reciprocates those feelings, and of course, they live happily ever after. That clarity had vanished and he acted on instinct, acted with his heart, and knew, even with a tiny part of his brain, that he was really, in fact, in love with his best friend. For years he’s tried to push it to the back of his mind, to ignore the feeling. He just can’t pretend anymore.. 

 

**FRESHMAN YEAR, GYM CLASS**

 

“Heard you tried out for the baseball team, huh, Eds?”

Eddie looks over, watching Richie change out of his sweaty t-shirt and into a new one. “Yeah, I did. I think I’ll get the position I want, too. They said I swing really well,” he shrugs, trying to avert his eyes somewhere other than Richie’s chest. He takes off his own shirt, shoving another on quickly. When he looks back up, his friend is staring.

“What? Am I sweating too much or something?”

“No,” Richie dismisses immediately, shaking his head. “It’s just.. I know you’ve struggled for a long time. You deserve this. You’ve worked really hard to get to this point. I.. I’m proud of you.”

Sure, he’s hugged Richie and his other friends more than he count, but when Eddie wraps his arms around Richie’s neck and feels another pair snug against his back, it feels more intimate than it should. He feels Richie swallow, and when he lifts his head to look at the other boy, eyes are drawn to his lips, making him want to be closer, want to have lips pressed against his own. And if he tries to make that happen, Richie doesn’t say anything, but instead lets his eyes flutter shut, and leans in, too.

The locker room door opens, making them jump apart, Eddie almost falling over the bench. Just like that, the moment is over, and they’re both laughing as if nothing happened.

  
  


**SOPHOMORE YEAR, VALENTINE’S DAY**

 

“Eddie, you wanna tell me why you’re calling me when you should be on a date right now?” is what Richie says the second he answers the phone.

“You wanna tell me why you’re answering? Shouldn’t you be with Brandie?” Eddie retorts.

“Yeah, I’m about to leave. What’s up, Eds?”

“I, uh.. I was stood up.. That’s all.”

There’s a pause, and then an angry:  _ “What?”  _

“Yeah..” Eddie says. “But you don’t have to worry about it! I’m not, like.. Sad. Or anything.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Richie, don’t. Brandie is gonna be pissed at you. You’ve had this planned for weeks. It’s Valentine’s Day, okay? That shit is like.. Important to girls.”

“Yeah, but you’re important to  _ me.  _ You’re my best friend. I’ll reschedule with Brandie, she won’t mind,” Richie tells him, the uncertainty in his voice evident in the last few words.

Eddie sighs. “She will mind and you know it.”

“I’m calling her and telling her I have to cancel.”

There’s  no changing Richie’s mind, even if his girlfriend may or may not kill him. Apparently he wanted to take that risk. 

  
  


“How did it go?” Eddie asks through the open window of Richie’s truck, separating them. He gets in and looks at Richie expectantly. “Well?”

“Well, she broke up with me.”

_ “What?  _ So why the fuck are you here and not with her?” Eddie looks at him incredulously.

“If some girl can’t accept that you’re always going to come first in my life, come first  _ always,  _ then she’s not for me.” Richie shrugs as if it didn’t affect him at all, even with the huge handprint, red and angry, on his cheek.

“Richie.. You really shouldn’t think that way..” They lock eyes for a second, and it feels as if he wants to say something serious, the way he shifts in his seat, closer to Eddie.

“But I do. Is that okay?” Richie reaches out to rub Eddie’s arm.

“Yeah, it’s okay..” He nods, adding, “I’d do the same for you, too.”

“So!” Richie claps after a moment of silence. “You wanna hit the movies or should I just take you to dinner first?”

Eddie grins.

  
  


**JUNIOR YEAR, BILL DENBROUGH’S BASEMENT**

 

It feels like a movie, honestly. Bill has twenty-something seventeen year olds all crowded in his house, his friends and most of his guests in the basement. Everyone has a drink in their hand, chatting up with someone or grinding on a stranger. Eddie’s walking around aimlessly, touching the walls and picture frames that he’s seen many times before. He comes to all of Bill’s parties and he always usually has a lot of fun, but he’s usually home at this point, but his mother happens to conveniently be out of state for her high school reunion. It’s nearing one AM and he doesn’t know what to do, if he’s honest. 

Eddie finally plops himself down on the couch, sitting between Richie and Bev. Richie swings an arm around him. “Havin’ fun, Eds?”

“Yeah, I am. Haven’t stayed this late before.”

“Yup, you get to witness the awkward seven-minutes-in-heaven bit now.” Richie nudges him, “Bill always makes people go in with their crushes, best friends, exes.. It’s funny as fuck.”

“Do you think I’ll have to? I really don’t want to..”

“Nah, I’ve never had to go in before. He wouldn’t be that much of an ass to you.”

“Oh,” Eddie nods, “cool. Good.” 

“Why? You afraid of having to kiss someone?” Richie smirks.

Eddie scoffs, “No.. of course not. I’m not  _ afraid _ of anything, thank you.”

“Really?” Richie challenges.

“Really.”

“Spiders?”

“Nope.”

“Snakes?”

“Nah.”

“Clowns?”

“Of course not.”

“Child-eating demon clowns?”

“Those don’t exist, nice try.”

“What about-”

Richie gets cut off by Bill shouting through cupped hands, telling them to gather around and bunch together so they can hear him talk.

“S-So, this is the time of the night where almost everyone is j-just a little tipsy at the least. Which means, of c-course, seven minutes of kissing in the cl-closet. I guess y-you could call it heaven.”

Eddie groans.

“As most of you a-already know, it’s decided by either me or the b-bottle who goes in, but since m-my closest, and d-dearest friend, Eddie, can finally stay past ten, I figure I’d let h-him have some fun. Now, Eddie. The other person y-you get to kiss for s-seven minutes will be…” Bill pretends to think, then smirks, “Richie.”

Eddie chokes on his drink. “I really don’t think-”

“Eds,” Richie whispers, “they won’t know if we don’t do anything.”

Eddie nods, “right.. Um. Okay..”

And slowly, the both of them are escorted to the closet, it being locked behind them.

“So.. what do we do in here?”

“The games’ rule is that we’re supposed to makeout but I don’t think.. Either of us wants to do that, so..” Richie trails off.

“Right,” Eddie’s heart only hurts a little bit. “Well.. how about we just confess things that we’ve never told each other before? It doesn’t have to be a huge secret or anything.”

Richie clears his throat, “Alright, that sounds cool. I’ll go first: in second grade, I was the one who stole your Batman action figure.”

“That was  _ you?” _

“Hey, you got it back, didn’t you?”

Eddie laughs, “Yeah, true. I did..” He pauses to think. “In eighth grade I was jealous of the girl you sat next to because you passed notes to her and not me.”

“I accidentally killed your fish when we were nine.”

“I sometimes use your toothbrush if I forget mine at home.”

“I didn’t forget your birthday last year, I just didn’t have a gift for you yet.”

“I did forget your birthday last year.”

“Eddie, that wounds me.”

Eddie laughs, “Sorry, last year was hell.”

“I’d cheers to that if I had my drink.” Richie moves closer, “When you almost got kicked off the baseball team earlier this year, I was the one who confronted and begged the coach not to.”

“I told your chemistry teacher to accept your project late.”

“I knew that one, actually,” Richie says.

“Really?”

“Mhm..”

“It’s your turn, Rich.”

“Right. Uh.. I.. I think you look really good tonight..”

They both start to shift toward each other, to finally play the game right. Their eyes are locked together and when Richie licks his lips and looks down at Eddie’s, maybe, just maybe, Eddie thinks that he might feel the same way-

“Alright! Time’s up!” Bill yanks the door open, and both are red in the face from almost being caught kissing.

  
  


**JUNIOR YEAR, CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE TOZIER’S**

 

Some months later, after weeks of begging, Eddie’s mother let him spend Christmas with Richie. She insisted that she doesn’t know why Eddie enjoys his company that much, but Eddie knows. He knows well enough, even if he hasn’t said it out loud. 

Cue Eddie finding Richie rounding the corner of his house, sipping on Eggnog, wearing the most ridiculous Santa hat.

“How do you find that kind of shit?”

_ “Shit?  _ Eds, this is not shit. It’s _ classic.”  _ Richie grips the hat and gestures it at Eddie to prove his point.

“You’re weird.”

“Is that why you love me?”

Eddie shrugs, “Sure, that’s the reason.”

Richie looks at Eddie’s hands and looks taken back, “Why aren’t you drinking eggnog? We need to get a cup of it inside you right now.”

“I don’t like eggnog.”

“Who’s the weird one now?”

“Still you,” Eddie laughs, nudging him playfully. 

A comfortable silence falls between them and Richie’s about to lead them to the living room when he looks up. “Uh.. would you look at that? Huh.. It’s mistletoe.”

“It.. it sure it. You know your plants, don’t you?”

“Ninth grade bio.”

Eddie meets Richie’s eyes, and it feels like all the times they’ve been in this position and it’s either going to happen or not and quite frankly, he’s tired of the is-it-or-isn’t-it game. He takes a quick look around the room, seeing Richie’s family and their friends occupied with each other, and he takes his chance to raise himself on his tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his best friend’s lips.

They stare at each other, neither speaking, until Eddie clears his throat, starting that awkward-after-kiss conversation, “So.. that happened.”

“Yep.. it did..”

“You wanna show me where the eggnog is now?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

  
  


**SENIOR YEAR, FOOTBALL GAME**

  
  


“You think we’ll win?” Richie asks, voice slightly raised over the noise of screaming students.

“Twenty-one to seven, I think we’re fine. We have a quarter and a half left,” Eddie responds, “Though anything could happen.”

“Have some faith, Eds!”

“I can’t believe you’re enjoying this.”

“I don’t, but I’m supporting Mike.. You didn’t have to come,” Richie tells him.

Eddie purses his lips, “Yes I did.”

“If you don’t like football, why would you-”

“Alright, I’m gonna get snacks. Be back soon.”

Richie watches him get up and leave and he just blinks, because  _ what  _ was that all about?

 

When he comes back, Eddie hands Richie his favorite: popcorn and gummy bears, and watches him pour the gummies into his popcorn.

“You know,” a girl’s voice says, startling them. “I think it’s endearing you’d do that for him.”

“What?” Eddie furrows his eyebrows.

The girl looks at Richie, “I wish my boyfriend was that good to me. He’s a keeper, dude,” and nods in Eddie’s direction.

The two look at one another, both red faced, letting the assumption go and neither correcting her. 

Eddie sits back down and the itch to hold Richie’s hand is stronger than ever, but he doesn’t act on it.

“.. Popcorn?”

Eddie grabs a hand and shoves it into his mouth, ignoring the look from Richie.

  
  


**SENIOR YEAR, EDDIE’S ROOM**

 

It’s the day that it all goes down, what causes Eddie have his breakdown, his gay crisis, what-have-you.. He doesn’t know it of course. Because it’s like this: he and Richie are in his room studying for finals together. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Eds, I believe in you more than anybody else, you know that, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad you do, but I’m sorry when I say that you’re gonna fail calculus.” 

“I thought you believed in me,” Eddie pretends to pout. 

“I do. But everyone knows you suck at math.”

Eddie sighs, “you’re right.. You know what? Let’s take a break.” He shuts his book and faces Richie with a knowing smile.

“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that, you freak?”

“So, when were you gonna tell me that you and Brandie got back together?”

Richie laughs, “What are you talking about?”

“Bill said he seen you in the hallway with her.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re together again. She asked me to prom in hopes that we  _ could  _ get back together. I said no, before you jump to conclusions.” 

“Right,” Eddie says, “Speaking of prom, are you going?”

“I plan to. I was gonna actually ask this guy, but I’m not sure yet.” Richie side-eyes Eddie, playing with the hem of his shirt. “He’s this really amazing person, you know? I think you’d love him. He takes pride in his schoolwork, which he totally should, because it’s not all the time he gets good grades in math. I’ve known him for a long time. He’s stubborn.. Stubborn but cute. He gets his shit done. He’s always there for me.. A good study buddy. He’s actually my best friend..”

Eddie’s staring at him with wide eyes because there is  _ no fucking way  _ that Richie is  _ not  _ talking about him. 

Richie continues, “He’s really good at baseball. Kinda has a crazy mom.. And I.. I’m pretty sure that I’m in-”

Before he can finish, Eddie is surging forward, hands on either side of Richie’s face, pressing his mouth against his best friend’s. This time, nothing gets interrupted, and for once, they’re kissing for  _ real.  _ Eddie opens his mouth, letting Richie’s tongue invade the inside of it.

When Eddie realizes who he’s actually kissing, he pulls back abruptly, wiping his mouth, and points at Richie. 

_ “You?  _ Me.. We.. no. Oh my god.” He’s having his gay crisis. He just  _ kissed  _ his best friend, the very same person whom he happens to be in love with. “This can’t be happening..”

“Eds..” Richie says cautiously, “I’m-”

“I have to go.”

“But this is your house.”

“Then  _ you  _ have to go.”

So Richie does. He leaves, and Eddie cries. He fucked up, he kissed his best friend. In the heat of the moment, he caved. 

Eddie slides down his bedroom door, not knowing that Richie is sat the same way on the opposite side of the door. 

  
  


**SENIOR YEAR, TWO WEEKS BEFORE PROM**

  
  


“You know, I think you’re being really fucking dumb.” 

Eddie looks up at Stan through his eyelashes, “thanks, we fucking get it.”

“What did you two even fight about?” Stan asks him as Bev comes over to their lunch table.

“Yeah, he’s been pouting for the last two weeks, what did you do?” Bev chides.

“I-I didn’t do anyth-.. I kissed him.”

“You  _ what?..  _ Wait but didn’t that happen last year at one of Bill’s parties when he made you two play seven minutes in heaven?”

“No, because all we did was talk. That’s it. I fucked up.”

“You’re just stupid. Are you that oblivious?”

“No.” Eddie says. “Wait, oblivious about what?”

Bev rolls her eyes and when she sees Mike heading over, she asks, “Hey, Mike? Is Eddie oblivious?”

“Eddie? Oh, yes.”

Stan snorts and stabs his pasta with his fork, shoving some into his mouth when Eddie gives him a look.

“I bet Ben is on my side.”

“You don’t really wanna bet that,” Mike tells him. 

“Where is Ben anyway?” Bev asks.

“Out sick.” Stan informs.

“Right, well I’ll text him and ask.”

Not even thirty seconds later, Bev gets a response and she shows Eddie, who frowns.

“Guys, are you all some type of fucking  _ what-eddie-doesn’t-know-won’t-hurt-him _ cult? What are you talking about?”

“Just.. Go to prom, okay? Please.” Bev asks, and when Eddie reluctantly agrees, she smiles.

  
  


**PRESENT DAY, SENIOR YEAR, PROM**

 

“Where is Eddie? He promised he would be here.”

“Relax, Bev,” Ben says, “Eddie snapchatted me an hour ago in a suit. He’ll be here.”

And as if on cue, Eddie’s walking through the corridor. When he spots his friends, he rushes over. 

“Where’s Richie?”

“Around. Why? Are you still avoiding him?” Bev narrows her eyes.

“No, I-”

Yet the second Richie makes an appearance, Eddie is wiggling his way out and finding another person to talk to.

“I don’t get it,” Richie says. “I’m not mad at him. Why does he think I’m mad at him?”

“The boy is stubborn, what do you expect?” Bev laughs, “At this point you’re gonna have to make some grand gesture or some shit to get his attention.” Richie doesn’t reply and she’s wide eyed, continuing, “Richie, don’t do a grand gesture, I am  _ begging  _ you. I will kill you.  _ Eddie  _ will kill you-”

“Chill out, I know what I’m doing, I swear. I’m going to use my senior speech on him.”

“That’s actually really fucking cute.”

“I know,” Richie smiles, “But Eddie can’t dip before that or who knows if he will ever speak to me again.”

“He’ll talk to you again, Rich. If he doesn’t tonight, give him a bit,” Ben suggests.

“Can’t do that.”

 

When senior speech time rolls around, the DJ asks if anybody would like to volunteer to go first, anybody who isn’t the class president, secretary, or in class cabinet. Richie raises his hand and he takes his place on the floor, clearing his his throat.

“Hey everyone.. um.. happy prom and all of that, but my senior speech is going to be, uh.. Improvised to say at the least. I know a lot of people have planned theirs out, but mine is sort of.. A last minute thing.. So, my best friend is mad at me.” People laugh at that, “it’s not a joke, I swear. My best friend  _ really  _ is mad at me. Well, I think so, at least. He won’t talk to me, and for a good reason. A reason I don’t think will disclose to all of you, but.. Regardless, if you haven’t left yet: I don’t regret it. I’m not mad at you, and I don’t regret what happened.” Richie sets the mic down without thanking his class, and just leaves. He had to get away before he started to cry.

Richie fumbles at grabbing his keys from his pocket, and drops them when he hears footsteps running toward him.

“Richie! Wait.. wait. Hold up.” 

“Hey, Eds.. What’s up? I’m about to leave.”

“Don’t leave,” Eddie pleads, “Please, don’t go.. I just.. I had to talk to you after hearing that, okay? I fucked up. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Shouldn’t have kissed me?”

“No, avoided you.. I.. I don’t know why I did anyway.. I..We can’t deny that our friendship has been.. Evolving.. Into something more for a while now,” Eddie admits.

“I know that.. That’s why I was trying to tell you that I was in love with you that night.”

“Was?” Eddie asks, smile faltering. 

_ “Am.”  _ Richie corrects himself, “I am in love with you.”

Eddie ducks his head, smiling. “I’m in love with you, too,” and takes a few more steps to reach Richie, leaning in to kiss him properly.

“Wait,” Richie puts a finger to Eddie’s lips.

“What is it?”

“You’re not gonna ask me to leave, are you?”

Eddie pushes his shoulder playfully, “Shut up and kiss me.” So Richie does.

“You wanna get out of here?”

“I think my life is a movie cliche.” Eddie says.

“Is that a yes?”

Eddie nods.

**Author's Note:**

> pls give me validation! comments are VERY APPRECIATED!!
> 
>  
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at richietoaster


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